Living Libraries!

She had lovely blonde hairs, her skin was so soft, always her smile was captivated with innocence, and she cooks spicy foods. She loved me a lot. Who would deny such a love from a lady having these qualities? I was fortunate to being loved by this dark lady.

This lady migrated from a culturally different state from Kerala to Tamil Nadu with the family due to poverty and for want of a living. The state differed in culture, food, language, climate, dress etc. Her family came to this new state for a job and they took up the job of polishing nails for the British, who were ruling India till 1947. Later after the independence of the country, they shifted polishing vessels using the metal Eeyam. Eeyam is an alloy of Tin and other metals. “Eeyam poosaradhu” is the term used to coat the vessels with this alloy.

Back in those days, when brass, copper, silver utensils were used for cooking, the inside surface would be coated with this alloy. This alloy of metals was found to have beneficial properties when cooked for traditional dishes. They elevated the aroma and imparted sufficient quantities of minerals for a healthy body. Rice stored overnight in these vessels does not get spoilt fast and curd don’t turn sour so easily. Tin and tin coated vessels once seen in every house hold are now a memory of the past. The advent of stainless steel, non-stick vessels had taken the tin and tin coated vessels to memory.

Due to oxidation the metal copper turns into green like how the statue of liberty changed from brown to green. However, America loves the blue-green look of the Lady and does well to the statue in protection.

Palms of ladies would generally be soft but her palms were rough since her profession was in the polishing field. After 25 days of my birth, she had lost her husband on “All Souls Day”. 35 years since then she was working alone for her daily bread and living. She had only 3 pair of white dress and washing them by hands and wearing all along her life. She had a small cloth purse tied to her dress in her waist and most of the times, I see it empty or filled only with coins. Whenever the cloth purse was empty, the acids in her stomach won that day battle. She was a best cook and she prepares foods so spicy that, after taking her food my lips and tongue would be hot for long time. She would always be calm, composed at all times even when life gave her the toughest challenges and never complained even during the worst times of her poverty. She stood like a rock with an innocent smile even when she faced the hurricane challenges of life that came her way. She never took rest till the day, she was rested in the earth. She is Kunjathiri, my maternal grandmother and was the only grandparent living during my childhood.

She had lovely blonde hairs, her skin was so soft due to her age. There are many memories about her. I would share one memory. After my graduation in Microbiology, I was struggling to get a job for nearly 4 years. She told me oneday that, one guy is ready to give me a medical representative job but we need to pay him 25,000 Indian rupees. One Sunday morning, I and she went to the place to meet the guy to talk about it. After meeting the guy, I could understand the guy would run away with the money, if given. I took my grandmother to the nearby tree and said, I feel he is not trustworthy, let us wait for a good opportunity. We laughed that day. As I was jobless and not having money, using my mother’s money in my pocket, we went to nearby tea stall and took few hot vada and a very good coffee. I started loving her more that day since inspite of her struggles, she was worrying about me and my life!

Why do grandparents shower lot of love and care for their grandchildren? After their run for the life comes to a halt, they rest and the mantle is taken by their children. When they are at home, the children of their children are free and they spend their last days in the earth with them. They develop a beautiful bond as they both don’t care about the world now. It is said, when you are in stress, either talk to a child under 6 or anyone above 60. They don’t take seriously the stress of life, as one has already crossed the stress and another yet to face!

It is a beautiful relationship of unconditional love and don’t care attitude about the world. I know each and every one of you must be lucky enough to have bonded with your grandparents and have own good stories about them. Sometimes we tend to reach out or look for inspiration from distant on-screen movie stars but fail to recognize and understand the inspiration near and living with us! Let us have myopic eyes in this sense!

Inspiration of the world’s best cook

Vikas Khanna who lives in US now was born with a leg deformity in Amritsar, Punjab-India and wasn’t able to run until he was 13 years old. He was inspired by his grandmother who loved to cook, and her kitchen became a part of his foundational training to become the world’s best cook.

Living Libraries

Grandparents lived the life withstanding the struggles and challenges of life. They can be rightly called as “Living libraries” as they have plenty of experience to guide and love us. Let us treasure them. This blog is dedicated to my grandmother Kunjathiri, other grandparents who left this world and others who are living in this world showering love and affection. In fact it is a cycle of life, oneday we too would be in that seat.

Beautiful story

That reminds me to share a beautiful story of Fazil about the love shared between a grandmother and a granddaughter.

Poonga vanathamma is a lonely old woman who lives in a town named Malligai panthal. She is frequently irritated by the nearby schoolboys ringing her door bell frequently for fun, sneezing while she is going to temple, making a loud noise in the speaker. A girl comes to her home one day and rings the calling bell. Mistaking her for the irritating boys, Poonga vanathamma comes to thrash them, but is surprised on seeing a young girl who introduces herself as Sundari, her granddaughter. Poonga vanathamma does not invite her inside and tries to shut the door, but Sundari manages to get inside the home. Sundari explains how she knows about her grandmother and how she came here but Poonga vanathamma does not respond to anything.

Sundari, being a mischievous girl starts her prank with the neighbors. She befriends the boys who irritate her grandmother and play all sorts of pranks and becomes the loving girl in her area. Sundari finds that her grandma likes yellow color very much and tries to impress her with that. But Poonga vanathamma gets angry and throws her out of her home at night. But she again takes her back and explains why she has behaved like that.

Poonga vanathamma, being a single mother was very close to her daughter. She permitted her daughter to marry the man of her choice on the condition that the groom must stay and live with them forever. But the groom did not keep the promise and he took her daughter away from her. After the death of her daughter, she pleaded to get back the child from her son-in-law, to which he refused. She also had an unsuccessful legal attempt to get the custody of her granddaughter as she is too old to take care of a child. Since 17 years, neither Sundari nor her father visited her home. This made her frustrated and angry as her waiting for 17 years to hear the door bell rung by her granddaughter did not happen. Sundari promises her grandmother that she will never leave her alone no matter who calls her. From then on, Poonga vanathamma and Sundari become intimate with each other. Sundari also realizes how affectionate her grandmother is towards her at many points. Poonga vanathamma removes the much troubling doorbell as her desire got fulfilled by Sundari’s arrival.

Sundari wanted a yellow rose pot for her grandmother’s garden and finds out that the neighbor David has one. She visits his house to request him and pranks him that the sunglasses which she wears make the wearing person to see only the body of the person and not their clothes. David is shocked by that and runs away from her view. David wants to get revenge her by stealing the glasses and look her without her clothes as she did to him. He manages to steal the sunglasses, but finds that Sundari played a prank on him. This further angers him and waits for a time for him to come. Sundari invites David for the Deepavali festival combined with her birthday party. David presents her a set of crackers which delights her. But Sundari gets injured when bursting his crackers and David gets satisfied that his plan worked. Sundari understands about David and tells him that all her pranks were meant only to make people happy and not to hurt them and apologizes him if she had hurt him in any way and treats her injury as her birthday gift by David.

David’s friend Alex visits his home and recognizes Sundari who is the friend of his sister. He immediately rushes to inform her father about her whereabouts. When David asks for the reason, he informs him that Sundari is counting her last days. Sundari met with an accident a few days ago. She was treated and discharged from the hospital; however, she was diagnosed with some brain disorder which requires a major operation for survival, which does not guarantee to save her life. Sundari does not want to lose her life without enjoying it and she cannot tolerate the hard feelings of her family and hence she came out uninformed. David feels very bad for behaving rudely with Sundari and he apologizes to her for his acts.

Sundari’s father Sundaram visits Poonga vanathamma’s house to pick up his daughter, but Poonga vanathamma neither allows him to come inside nor to explain why he had come. Sundaram seeks the help of the town’s Church priest and headmaster of the town’s school to allow him to take his daughter with him. Sundari gets promises from everyone including her father that her grandmother should not know about her condition. Poonga vanathamma and Sundari get into a quarrel one night and Sundari is compelled to tell the truth about her by herself. She wanted to live the last days with her grandmother before death. Poonga vanathamma visits the church that night itself and expresses that she has no objection to take Sundari for operation. She hands over all the money she had saved for her granddaughter. She says she would make her sleep as Sundari would not go with them while she is awake. As said so she makes her sleep by giving her milk porridge laced with sleeping pills and Sundari is transported in an ambulance for the operation.

Poonga vanathamma is seen fixing the doorbell again, hoping that it would again be rung by her granddaughter Sundari oneday!

Very rare to see a movie about the love between a grandmother and a granddaughter. Poove Poochooda Vaa [Come to adorn you with flowers] is a 1985 Indian Tamil-language film directed by Fazil about this story!

Note-The images given for representation in this blog are taken from Google / Unsplash Images. Many thanks for Google & Unsplash.